I'd like to talk about my grandpa for a minute if that's OK. He died about 2 weeks ago, of complications after a massive stroke 6 weeks earlier. This tragedy made me question whether or not that was the beginning of the end. Our family has its problems like most families do I'm sure, but for holidays and celebratory times we came together to be with each other. But how close of a family are we? My grandparents are the nucleus of the family, they are the root. With my grandpa passing there is only my grandmother to keep the family rooted and when she goes...i just don't know how strong we are to all get together for those same reasons without them. There are no more birthday or anniversaries of my grandparents to celebrate and holidays will be spent with every ones own little bunch. With my grandpas passing, the entire dynamic of our family will change, and this is a loss I mourn as well.
I'm sure people would tell me that I must have seen a picture or been told a story and I only think I remember this, but I honestly believe that when I close my eyes, I can remember being an infant laying safe and sleepy on his belly. I can feel that warmth and comfort still with every fibre of my being when I think of him, and I wish I could hug him still.
I was lucky though, when he had his last massive and immobilizing stroke, he stuck it out long enough for us to fly down to Saskatchewan and give our love and say goodbye. I dont know how I would have done had I not had that opportunity, since I was unable to make to the funeral. My very last moments with my grandfather was sitting in the hospital in the middle of the night holding my grandfathers hand as we watched "What About Bob?" on the television. He couldn't talk or move very well so we simply sat in companionable silence together, I think both knowing that this was our last time together. Im grateful for that moment.
I love my grandpa very much, and I miss him.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Family Matters
I'm just... really angry. Not really disappointed which is unfortunate because that would mean I expected better, but I really didn't.
What am I angry about you ask?
Well over a year ago my parents separated which I was actually happy about as my parents had been making each other miserable for years. However shortly after their separation it was discovered that my father was having relations with a friend of ours. A friend we spent every Sunday and several holidays a year with. This woman helped fix up our house, spent time with my mom during the separation offering support all the while she was...with my father... They had hooked up while my father was still living in the same house as my mother and they were barely separated, and not even legally yet. They acted inappropriately. Both of them blatantly flirting with each other long before the separation occurred. It was so obvious that not only did we all see it, friends of all of ours commented on it as well. They got caught and immediately the defenses went up and suddenly everyone else was in the wrong and not them. My father even found our reaction disrespectful. The entire thing was messy and didn't need to happen, if everyone (my father and the BEEP!) had been honest.
Anyway to make a long story short, we do not talk to her and my brother and I did not talk to my father in almost a year. His narcissism and inability to take responsibility for what he had done made it impossible for a relationship with him to continue.
Well a little over a month ago now we received an email from my father stating that my grandfather was dying of cancer and to top it off he had just suffered a massive stroke, was paralyzed on the right side of his body and was in the hospital fighting for his life. I ignored the fact that he emailed me this information rather than growing some balls and calling his children as the situation required and called him for the details. Next thing you know, 3 hours later after having not spoken in over 10 months my brother and I are driving 5 hours Ottawa at 8:30 at night to pick up flight passes and fly to Saskatchewan. We stopped at my cousins to pick up the passes and had a short 30 min nap at 2:30am, then we drove to the airport and flew to Saskatoon, where we rented a car and drove to Battleford where my grandpa was in the hospital. We spent 3 days by his side before doing the entire thing in reverse. That was a stressful and exhausting situation, but I was thankful I was able to see my grandpa before he passed.
It was inevitable that we were going to hash things out, being in a high stress, close quartered situation like that makes it nearly impossible for that to not happen. And so we did the last day of travelling. On the way home from Sask. we were sitting in a restaurant in Ottawa having some lunch, and the three of us had it out. My brother felt better about the situation in the end, and I could tell my father did as well, but the episode just angered me more. He lied to my face, he lied about the incidents that transpired he clearly didn't feel he was in the wrong. He tried to turn my mother against me by trying to have me question her character, he accused her of being the reason why he had lost his job, and he continued to blame everyone else. It was during this heated discussion that I realized my father was never going to change. He had always been like this, and likely always would be. Not very comforting, but a reality nonetheless. I should mention that he did actually apologize for hurting us, that I am sure of he never meant to do, he just never thought of anyone else.
So getting home and his birthday and fathers day was the next weekend I try to be nice and ask him to brunch or lunch or something on fathers day, but he already has plans with HER, and her ex husband who p.s left her for a Thai woman half his age. Now if you were trying to repair your relationship with your estranged daughter, wouldn't you maybe reschedule with the other non father related people? He chose to spend FATHERS DAY with this messed up new family than his own daughter and instead schedule another time with me. Fathers day this year was one big disappointment, but I guess it shouldn't have been a surprise. I knew who I was trying to make plans with.
So now it has been over a month later and my grandpa passed away last week. My dad cant afford second plane tickets again for my brother and I again and I understand, but what actually infuriates me is that he brought HER! My family loves my mother and has never met her. A death is not the time to introduce her. She got to be with my family whom I love during a time of need, and I got to stay at home and wish I was there. I missed my grandfathers funeral and this woman who never met my grandfather was able to go. It did not occur to my father that the price of her flight could have gotten his children a standby ticket each and then they would have been able to go instead.
Im leaving out a lot of details when I rant about this but you get the idea of how this has all been frustrating me. Its hard being the adult with your parent.
Ive had a crappy time.
What am I angry about you ask?
Well over a year ago my parents separated which I was actually happy about as my parents had been making each other miserable for years. However shortly after their separation it was discovered that my father was having relations with a friend of ours. A friend we spent every Sunday and several holidays a year with. This woman helped fix up our house, spent time with my mom during the separation offering support all the while she was...with my father... They had hooked up while my father was still living in the same house as my mother and they were barely separated, and not even legally yet. They acted inappropriately. Both of them blatantly flirting with each other long before the separation occurred. It was so obvious that not only did we all see it, friends of all of ours commented on it as well. They got caught and immediately the defenses went up and suddenly everyone else was in the wrong and not them. My father even found our reaction disrespectful. The entire thing was messy and didn't need to happen, if everyone (my father and the BEEP!) had been honest.
Anyway to make a long story short, we do not talk to her and my brother and I did not talk to my father in almost a year. His narcissism and inability to take responsibility for what he had done made it impossible for a relationship with him to continue.
Well a little over a month ago now we received an email from my father stating that my grandfather was dying of cancer and to top it off he had just suffered a massive stroke, was paralyzed on the right side of his body and was in the hospital fighting for his life. I ignored the fact that he emailed me this information rather than growing some balls and calling his children as the situation required and called him for the details. Next thing you know, 3 hours later after having not spoken in over 10 months my brother and I are driving 5 hours Ottawa at 8:30 at night to pick up flight passes and fly to Saskatchewan. We stopped at my cousins to pick up the passes and had a short 30 min nap at 2:30am, then we drove to the airport and flew to Saskatoon, where we rented a car and drove to Battleford where my grandpa was in the hospital. We spent 3 days by his side before doing the entire thing in reverse. That was a stressful and exhausting situation, but I was thankful I was able to see my grandpa before he passed.
It was inevitable that we were going to hash things out, being in a high stress, close quartered situation like that makes it nearly impossible for that to not happen. And so we did the last day of travelling. On the way home from Sask. we were sitting in a restaurant in Ottawa having some lunch, and the three of us had it out. My brother felt better about the situation in the end, and I could tell my father did as well, but the episode just angered me more. He lied to my face, he lied about the incidents that transpired he clearly didn't feel he was in the wrong. He tried to turn my mother against me by trying to have me question her character, he accused her of being the reason why he had lost his job, and he continued to blame everyone else. It was during this heated discussion that I realized my father was never going to change. He had always been like this, and likely always would be. Not very comforting, but a reality nonetheless. I should mention that he did actually apologize for hurting us, that I am sure of he never meant to do, he just never thought of anyone else.
So getting home and his birthday and fathers day was the next weekend I try to be nice and ask him to brunch or lunch or something on fathers day, but he already has plans with HER, and her ex husband who p.s left her for a Thai woman half his age. Now if you were trying to repair your relationship with your estranged daughter, wouldn't you maybe reschedule with the other non father related people? He chose to spend FATHERS DAY with this messed up new family than his own daughter and instead schedule another time with me. Fathers day this year was one big disappointment, but I guess it shouldn't have been a surprise. I knew who I was trying to make plans with.
So now it has been over a month later and my grandpa passed away last week. My dad cant afford second plane tickets again for my brother and I again and I understand, but what actually infuriates me is that he brought HER! My family loves my mother and has never met her. A death is not the time to introduce her. She got to be with my family whom I love during a time of need, and I got to stay at home and wish I was there. I missed my grandfathers funeral and this woman who never met my grandfather was able to go. It did not occur to my father that the price of her flight could have gotten his children a standby ticket each and then they would have been able to go instead.
Im leaving out a lot of details when I rant about this but you get the idea of how this has all been frustrating me. Its hard being the adult with your parent.
Ive had a crappy time.
Friday, July 4, 2008
William H. Seward
Most of you know that I really enjoy reading, which is good because for this Alaska research I have been doing a looooot of that. I was asked to do a bulleted biography of William H. Seward who was the Secetary of State at that time. He turns out to be a very interesting man. He spoke out against slavery and used his house as a part of the underground railroad. These are big things especially considering the time. This all took place in the 1800's.
I've attached my research to this blog.
HI JIM AND JAAAAAYYYYYY :) I'll email you soon
William H. Seward
Birth and Academia
- Born in 1801 in Florida, Orange County, New York
- Was the fourth of six children born to Samuel S. and Mary J. Seward.
- His father was a physician and later a judge
- In 1819, teaching in Georgia, the indignity of slavery first made an impression on him and later influenced him to become one of the most outspoken anti-slavery politicians of the time. **
- Attended Union College in Schenectady, New York, graduating in 1820
Early Career and Marriage
- Seward trained in law offices in Goshen and New York City
- Passed the New York State Bar in 1821.
- That same year, he met Frances Miller of Auburn
- Seward moved to Auburn, New York, in 1823 and entered into a law partnership with Frances' father, Judge Elijah Miller.
- 1824, Seward asked the Judge for permission to marry. Judge Miller allowed the match on the condition that William and Frances share the Miller home on South Street with him.
- William H. Seward and Frances Miller had five children - Augustus, Frederick, Cornelia, William and Frances "Fanny".
- At the age of 29, William Seward was elected as an Anti-Mason to the New York State Senate.
- In 1838 he won election as the first Whig Party governor of New York and was reelected again in 1840.
- During his gubernatorial terms, he extended the canal system through the state, promoted the building of the Croton Aqueduct, established libraries in the public school system and abolished imprisonment for debt.
- He also was a supporter of prison and education reforms, and the emerging antislavery movement
- Seward returned to Auburn in 1846, used the insanity defense to defend William Freeman (a mentally-ill African-American who had murdered a white farmer and his family.)**
- Seward lost the case but won a retrial. Freeman died in prison before the second trial could begin.
Career in Senate
- New York State Legislature voted Seward into the United States Senate in 1848. During his twelve years as a United States Senator, Seward helped to organize the new Republican Party
- He also worked to bring California into the Union as a free, not slave-holding state.
- He was also a member of the Foreign Relations Committee.
- William H. and Frances Seward used their home in the 1850s to shelter fugitive slaves as part of the Underground Railroad. **
- Seward was also instrumental in helping Harriet Tubman settle in Auburn and secure property on South Street which was to be her home for over fifty years.
- Seward never attained, the highest office in the land.
- A front-runner at the 1860 Republican presidential nominating convention, the party ultimately supported Abraham Lincoln.
- Seward accepted Lincoln's request to serve as Secretary of State, and he signed and helped to write the Emancipation Proclamation,
- This became law on January 1st, 1863.
Secretary Seward by Mathew Brady, 1861
- Secretary Seward was stabbed in his Washington home on April 14, 1865, the same night President Lincoln was shot in the Ford Theater.
- The attacker, Lewis Powell, a co-conspirator with Booth, injured five people.
- Seward recovered from his injuries and continued to serve as Secretary of State for President Andrew Johnson.
- During this administration, the United States purchased the Alaska Territory from Russia for $7,200,000.00.
- Derided by critics as "Seward's Folly," this purchase became one of Seward's greatest legacies.
Retirement
- In 1869, William Seward retired from the State Department
- He spent most of the remainder of his life traveling.
- He visited Alaska in June 1869 and later enjoyed a fourteen-month trip around the world.
- When Seward returned from his world tour, he began writing a book about his travels.
- Seward died in his home in Auburn on October 10, 1872 following a short illness.
- His last words to his family were to "Love one another."
I've attached my research to this blog.
HI JIM AND JAAAAAYYYYYY :) I'll email you soon
William H. Seward
Birth and Academia
- Born in 1801 in Florida, Orange County, New York
- Was the fourth of six children born to Samuel S. and Mary J. Seward.
- His father was a physician and later a judge
- In 1819, teaching in Georgia, the indignity of slavery first made an impression on him and later influenced him to become one of the most outspoken anti-slavery politicians of the time. **
- Attended Union College in Schenectady, New York, graduating in 1820
Early Career and Marriage
- Seward trained in law offices in Goshen and New York City
- Passed the New York State Bar in 1821.
- That same year, he met Frances Miller of Auburn
- Seward moved to Auburn, New York, in 1823 and entered into a law partnership with Frances' father, Judge Elijah Miller.
- 1824, Seward asked the Judge for permission to marry. Judge Miller allowed the match on the condition that William and Frances share the Miller home on South Street with him.
- William H. Seward and Frances Miller had five children - Augustus, Frederick, Cornelia, William and Frances "Fanny".
- At the age of 29, William Seward was elected as an Anti-Mason to the New York State Senate.
- In 1838 he won election as the first Whig Party governor of New York and was reelected again in 1840.
- During his gubernatorial terms, he extended the canal system through the state, promoted the building of the Croton Aqueduct, established libraries in the public school system and abolished imprisonment for debt.
- He also was a supporter of prison and education reforms, and the emerging antislavery movement
- Seward returned to Auburn in 1846, used the insanity defense to defend William Freeman (a mentally-ill African-American who had murdered a white farmer and his family.)**
- Seward lost the case but won a retrial. Freeman died in prison before the second trial could begin.
Career in Senate
- New York State Legislature voted Seward into the United States Senate in 1848. During his twelve years as a United States Senator, Seward helped to organize the new Republican Party
- He also worked to bring California into the Union as a free, not slave-holding state.
- He was also a member of the Foreign Relations Committee.
- William H. and Frances Seward used their home in the 1850s to shelter fugitive slaves as part of the Underground Railroad. **
- Seward was also instrumental in helping Harriet Tubman settle in Auburn and secure property on South Street which was to be her home for over fifty years.
- Seward never attained, the highest office in the land.
- A front-runner at the 1860 Republican presidential nominating convention, the party ultimately supported Abraham Lincoln.
- Seward accepted Lincoln's request to serve as Secretary of State, and he signed and helped to write the Emancipation Proclamation,
- This became law on January 1st, 1863.
Secretary Seward by Mathew Brady, 1861
- Secretary Seward was stabbed in his Washington home on April 14, 1865, the same night President Lincoln was shot in the Ford Theater.
- The attacker, Lewis Powell, a co-conspirator with Booth, injured five people.
- Seward recovered from his injuries and continued to serve as Secretary of State for President Andrew Johnson.
- During this administration, the United States purchased the Alaska Territory from Russia for $7,200,000.00.
- Derided by critics as "Seward's Folly," this purchase became one of Seward's greatest legacies.
Retirement
- In 1869, William Seward retired from the State Department
- He spent most of the remainder of his life traveling.
- He visited Alaska in June 1869 and later enjoyed a fourteen-month trip around the world.
- When Seward returned from his world tour, he began writing a book about his travels.
- Seward died in his home in Auburn on October 10, 1872 following a short illness.
- His last words to his family were to "Love one another."
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