Anton Ziegler

I'd like to talk about my grandpa for a minute if that's OK. He died about 2 weeks ago, of complications after a massive stroke 6 weeks earlier. This tragedy made me question whether or not that was the beginning of the end. Our family has its problems like most families do I'm sure, but for holidays and celebratory times we came together to be with each other. But how close of a family are we? My grandparents are the nucleus of the family, they are the root. With my grandpa passing there is only my grandmother to keep the family rooted and when she goes...i just don't know how strong we are to all get together for those same reasons without them. There are no more birthday or anniversaries of my grandparents to celebrate and holidays will be spent with every ones own little bunch. With my grandpas passing, the entire dynamic of our family will change, and this is a loss I mourn as well.

I'm sure people would tell me that I must have seen a picture or been told a story and I only think I remember this, but I honestly believe that when I close my eyes, I can remember being an infant laying safe and sleepy on his belly. I can feel that warmth and comfort still with every fibre of my being when I think of him, and I wish I could hug him still.

I was lucky though, when he had his last massive and immobilizing stroke, he stuck it out long enough for us to fly down to Saskatchewan and give our love and say goodbye. I dont know how I would have done had I not had that opportunity, since I was unable to make to the funeral. My very last moments with my grandfather was sitting in the hospital in the middle of the night holding my grandfathers hand as we watched "What About Bob?" on the television. He couldn't talk or move very well so we simply sat in companionable silence together, I think both knowing that this was our last time together. Im grateful for that moment.

I love my grandpa very much, and I miss him.